Do NOT Raise Hogs no more

Dear friends,

I thought some of you might want to decide to raise no hogs this year. 

I have concluded that I will raise no hogs this year. They hurt our property last year and this year.
We have actually had to call in the hog dog owners to try to eradicate them.

They are wild and unruly and root up the ground. 
I wonder if I will have to certify tht they are all eradicated before I can apply for my stipend (entitlement)…

CN

This is an copy of the actual letter sent to Senators Snow & Collins... Yes, this is part of the "REAL PROBLEM" we have in Washington

TO: Senators Snow & Collins, Washington, D.C. 
 FROM: A Clearwater, FL Resident 
 
 Dear Senators, 
 
 Thank you for crossing party lines and voting for the handout package. 
 My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Maine , received a check for 
 $10,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go 
 into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know 
 is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs 
 on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? 
 
 I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all 
 governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if 
 that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not 
 raise Yorkshires or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this 
 program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I 
 haven't raised. My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future 
 of the business. He has been raising hogs f or twenty years or so, and 
 the best he ever made on them was $1,422 in 1968, until this year when 
 he got your check for $10,000 for not raising hogs. If I get $1,000 
 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for not raising 100 hogs? 
 I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to 
 about 4,000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000 the first 
 year. Then I can afford an airplane. 
 
 Now another thing these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 
 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not 
 raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising 
 wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise? 
 Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any
 information you have on that, too. 
 
 In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally 
 unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps. Be 
 assured your party will have my vote in the coming election. 
 
 Patriotically Yours, 
 A soon to be Gentleman Clearwater, FL Farmer

h/t CN