Tick-Off a Liberal: Take a Boy Scout to Chick-fil-A
Forget about Bert and Ernie. I always thought Kermit the Frog was a little “light in the flippers,” if you know what I mean. Miss Piggy? Probably just cover (wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more). And how about that perennial bachelor, Fozzie Bear? Wocka Wocka, indeed.
Or not.
I don’t know.
Still, a recent move by The Jim Henson Company makes you wonder. In a distinctly knee-jerk, anti-family development, the Muppet mogul has severed promotional ties with Chick-fil-A – the booming fast-food chain and American Cinderella story. The multi-billion dollar company has stirred the ire of left-wing extremists in recent days.
Their crime? Failure to obey the nauseating, mind-numbing dictates of political correctness.
Dan Cathy – a devout Christian and CEO of the biblically based eatery – recently made a few innocuous public comments in support of legitimate marriage – sentiments the vast majority of morals-minded Americans happen to agree with. (I sent an email to Chick-fil-A corporate suggesting that, in reprisal, they add frog legs and ham hock to the menu. No reply thus far.)
“We are very much supportive of the family – the biblical definition of the family unit,” said Cathy. “We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that. … We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”
Or, at least we used to live in that country. No more. Not if we let the godless left have its way.
Cathy’s statement was all it took. The “progressive” establishment had a mouth-frothing, water-meets-Wicked-Witch-of-the-West meltdown. They’ve charged the battlefield with that characteristic slash-and-burn, seek-and-destroy style and grace we’ve come to expect.
“Boycott Chick-fil-A!” shrieked the ever-tolerant, oh-so-enlightened sexual-anarchist troglodytes. “Bigots! Haters! Homophobes!” (You know; same pointless pap, different day.)
Demanding a public apology from Cathy, Chicago Alderman Joe Moreno pledged to prohibit Chick-fil-A from opening a restaurant in Chicago’s Logan Square because – well – because he’s a communist.
Boston Mayor Thomas Menino told the Boston Herald that he, too, would block Chick-fil-A from the “Cradle of Liberty.” (Want some crackers with that rich irony chowda, Tommy?)
Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel followed suit.
Now, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but let me just say to these, um, gentlemen: Look here, you law-breaking, totalitarian, anti-American dolts. We have a thing in this country called the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. We will not sit idly by while you use this sacred document as potty paper for puppy. You may have sworn-off chicken, but keep it up, tough guys, and freedom-loving America will force feed you a Sears Tower-sized helping of crow.
Mat Staver, founder and chairman of the Liberty Counsel civil-rights firm weighed in: “To deny business permits or zoning approvals to Chick-fil-A because the president of the privately owned family business expressed his biblical view of natural marriage is outrageous,” he said. “Any city trying to ban Chick-fil-A will not win this battle.”
“These government officials ought to be ashamed. For a public official to threaten denial of a right to do business because the president of a private company supports natural marriage is the height of stupidity and intolerance.
“Unfortunately, their response is typical of intolerant homosexual activists,” he continued. “They will go to any lengths to silence the majority of Americans who believe that children do best when raised in a natural family with one mom and one dad.”
Who would’ve thought that a major flashpoint for our culture war would involve waffle fries – evidently laced with some illicit, highly addictive chemical agent – and equally mouth-watering chicken-and-pickle sandwiches?
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